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Handling Your Divorce The Right Way When You Have Kids

Handling Your Divorce The Right Way When You Have Kids

Handling Your Divorce The Right Way When You Have Kids

If you are filing for a divorce after every other thing seems to not be working, there is a whole lot to put in mind, most especially when you have children. Although the process of separation and divorce can be emotionally torturing for all the party involved, each parent owes their children the responsibility of making this transition as easy as possible.

When it comes to divorce, there is no ultimate roadmap, and no one can say for certain how each party involved is going to react. It is however the responsibility of the parents to prepare the kids for what lies ahead, to ensure that your children are not caught between crossfires, picking sides, alimony, custodian problems and moral degradation that is usually seen in children with separated parents.

Here are some helpful tips that we’ve given to many clients over the years to help you manage the situation properly:

1. Tell your spouse that you’ll be getting a divorce

If you do not anticipate or envision yourself to be in any type of safety risk, it is always wise to notify your spouse ahead of time that they will be getting served with separation papers. While some people favour the blind sight approach, it is always wise to let your spouse, who is also a parent to your children know that you cannot continue with the marriage. In the absence of any significant legal or personal safety reasons, speak to a top family law practice personnel and follow their advice in this respect.

2. Do some research

Children usually have different behaviours and reactions to negative news such as a divorce. Many things come to play when it comes to how your divorce affects your children. Their emotional maturity, age, perception of each parent and understanding are all important factors in ensuring that they maintain a positive outlook in this transitioning period.

In order to contain the situation and make sure that your children are on the same page with your divorce, engage in research and studies that help you anticipate reactions and figure out the right answers and approach to how the situation can be properly managed. Also have honest, open conversations with them to know what they are feeling.

3. Give your spouse some time before breaking the news

Irrespective of how extensive you have researched and firmed-up on the best way to break the development to your children, you need to respect your spouse’s decision and weigh in their reaction to the matter especially when you are the one serving the papers. It is always a wise idea to allow your spouse to process things, grieve and lash out before they arrive on the same page.

In this period, it is possible for many things to change and you and your spouse may decide to take a U-turn if signs that your marriage can be salvaged begin to appear. Another advantage of taking this time is that it will help you balance yourself emotionally to help your kids deal with the emotional reaction that is to come as you break the news of the divorce.

4. Establish ground rules

Engage your partner in discussing and developing a plan on how you would want the parenting plan post separation to look like. Talk about the logistics and custodianship as well as catering, visitation and other important issues. If your spouse is planning to relocate, how does it affect visitation?

Will the kids need to change school? Will there be need to appoint a guardian? Involve experts in family law practice in Winter Park to help you go over all the important details and have a solid parenting plan that will work for both parties in court. .

5. Discuss properties and move-outs with the interest of your children at heart

Even with all the emotions love and hate going around in most divorce cases, the finances are also very fiery topics that needs to be discussed. If you have concluded on properties that each party is to keep, determine who will remain in the current home and who is moving out if need be.

Once this has been established, determine the date of the move-out. It is important to note the importance of maintaining and familiar environment for the kids in these times and parents are usually encouraged to let the kids remain in the current home if possible to prevent a feeling of alienation in new environments.

6. In cases where you are nesting, discuss chores and responsibilities

Nesting refers to a situation where both divorcees still inhabit the same home post-separation. In these instances, each parent must figure out how to handle the house, children and responsibilities. You may make a formal or informal plan but being formal is one certain way to reduce the tendencies of a misunderstanding erupting.

Both parents must figure a way to stick to their schedules and become responsible at their respective times to prevent cutting an image of an overbearing neglect on their divorced mate, thus showing signs of incapability, which may be used against each other if a custody battle erupts.

7. Consider how communication and co-parenting will take place

Discussing issues like communication and co-parenting are very important as divorce proceedings tend to hot up at one stage or another. If communications will be done in meeting, phone calls or emails. Bear in mind that as tensions arise, face to face communications become more difficult and written communications are the most tenable in court. Should actual lapses occur or be claimed by one parent, these email documentations and social media conversations (if any) will play a key role.

8. Tell your children together

If possible, spouses are advised to break the news together. This is very advisable as it allows both divorcing spouses to comfort the children together and answer any questions that may arise from an unbiased point of view where each parent can tender their cases. This way, your kids will get to understand that you will always both be there for them irrespective of the current circumstances.

The way and manner your divorce is handled goes a long way in affecting your children. It is therefore very important to make sure that both parents weigh in on how their decisions impact the lives of the children and use a matured and possibly mediated approach to resolve differences and have a smooth divorce process. Don’t just assume you know what to do. Speak to a reputable family law practice in Winter Park today.